


Fall For You

by Broken_Latin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 15:53:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broken_Latin/pseuds/Broken_Latin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is tired of having to leave for heaven. He is tired of leaving Dean because of duties. He has fallen for the boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall For You

Castiel stood nervously outside the door. Sam and Dean were inside, unaware of his presence. He swallowed, his throat tight and dry. They would he angry with him again, he knew. He waited next to the door, looking up from the ground when Sam’s head popped out. As soon as the man saw Castiel, he turned back. Cas heard his words: crisp, clear, and angry.

            “Brace yourself.” Those three syllables stung. Would Dean be so upset that Sam had to use that tone? There was definite dislike in them.

            The Winchester brothers exited the room. Castiel could see the breath hitch in Dean’s throat. His eyes were momentarily widened, his pupils saucers with a halo of an iris. Castiel averted his own eyes, casting his gaze upon the floor.

            “I’ll be in the car,” Sam said with that same inflection of distaste. He left Dean and Castiel alone in the building. There was no one else, save for a dead demon in the other room. Dean gave a low sigh, leaning against the cool wall for stability.

            “Dean . . .I’m sorry,” Castiel blurted before even giving Dean a chance to speak. The man opened his eyes. There was a definite sadness in them. A knot settled in the pit of Castiel’s stomach. _He_ had caused that pain.

            “You left again.” The angel couldn’t help but feel a small wave of relief wash over him when he heard the man speak. Though he was far from happy, he didn’t sound angry.

            “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He took a breath, grounding himself. God, how he hated to see the sadness in Dean’s eyes. “Father had a job for me. I didn’t have time to say goodbye.”

            Dean slid down the wall until he was sitting. “I just want you to quit running of to heaven without letting me know.” He paused. “I worry about you, Cas.”

            Castiel looked down at the man. “It wasn’t heaven.”

            Dean raised an eyebrow. “It wasn’t?” His voice was filled with concern and worry. Castiel knew that he was afraid he’d ended up in purgatory or some other horrible place.

            Cas shook his head. “How could it possibly be heaven without you?” He extended a hand to help Dean up. But instead of anyone going upwards, Cas ended up sitting on the floor next to the hunter. Slowly and timidly, the angel reached to take Dean’s hand in his, but pulled back. Dean was still upset. Perhaps now was not the time to try that.

            Dean grabbed the hand as Castiel drew back. All of his doubt, all of his fear, suddenly went away. He took Dean’s wrist, pressing his lips against it, kissing his hand.

            “I’m sorry I left.” After a second of quiet, he added, “I love you.”

            The mixture of Castiel’s puppy dog eyes and the tenderness of the words he spoke made Dean’s heart melt. He could never stay upset with Castiel for very long. “I love you, too.”

            They just sat there, happy to have one another. Castiel leaned into Dean, who held him calmly. Castiel was content: Dean wasn’t angry with him, and that was all he could ask for. When he left, he knew it hurt him. In knowing that, Castiel’s heart had hurt.  He hated to see Dean upset—he never wanted to be the cause of that pain.

            Dean placed a soft kiss on Castiel’s temple. “We should get back to the hotel.” Cas nodded, standing and helping Dean up. They walked hand in hand to the Impala, where they had to separate. Castiel sat in the back, checking the rearview mirror. His shadow showed his wings.

            “Shoo,” he muttered. Dean looked back at him, laughing to himself. Sam only stared out his window, silently ignoring Castiel. It hurt the angel a little to know that he was upset.

            As soon as they were at the hotel, Sam stormed off. Cas got out of the car, looking to dean with a certain sadness in his eyes. “He’s angry with me.”

            Dean nodded, knowing full well that there was no point in lying to the angel. Cas looked down. He was ashamed. But Dean wouldn’t stand for that. He took the angel’s hand in his. The man looked up. “Don’t worry about it. Cas. He’ll calm down.” With a small nod from the angel, they went up the stairs of the hotel and found the elevator and stepped into it. A woman struggled to calm her crying baby.

            Castiel gave a soft smile to Dean before speaking to the woman and child. When the lady got off, the kid was calm and quiet. Dean wrapped his arm around Cas’s waist, holding him close.

            “You’re always so sweet and nice. What did I ever do to deserve you?” he hummed quizzically.

            “I ask myself that very same question every day.”

            The two of them got off the elevator, walking down the hall to a large suite. It appeared to have two bedrooms and a large living room. The Winchester brothers must have solved a case with a big reward. Castiel looked to Dean. “I think I need to talk with Sam.”

           Dean opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it. There was no point in fighting with Cas. He didn’t want to argue when he’d just gotten him back. He nodded and dropped his hand. Castiel made his way to the man’s bedroom, knocking at the door.

            “What?” It was more of a harsh bark than a question.

            “May I enter?”

            There was a dramatic huff, followed by, “Fine.” Castiel stepped inside, closing the door behind him. Sam didn’t look at him, only continuing to unpack his bags.

            “Sam, you’re angry at me.”

            “Obviously.”

            The man’s tone made Castiel cringe as he slid down to a sitting position on the floor. “Is it because I left?”

            Sam sighed. “Do you know what you did to Dean?” Cas tried to answer, but Sam kept talking. “He fell apart. Cas. You left and he thought that you were never coming back.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “Sorry doesn’t cut it, Castiel!”

            The angel jumped. “It’s all I can say.”

            “Just stop leaving him.”

            Cas bit his lip. “I have duties to fulfill.” After a second, he added, “I don’t want to leave. I hate to see him like that.”

            “I know you do. But you hurt him. Can’t you just ignore your duties?”

           “It is not that simple. There are thing I have to do as an angel.” As his lips formed the words, his mind formed a plan. “Sam?”

            “What?”

            “If I fell, would Dean still love me?”

            The man looked surprised. “I don’t think there’s anything that could make him quit loving you, Cas.”

            “Perfect.” Castiel stood, while Sam looked at him with confusion in his eyes.

            “What are you doing?”

            Cas gave him a weak smile. “I’m not quite sure.” He opened the door.

            Sam grabbed him gently by the shoulder. “Whatever is running around in your head, make sure you really want it.”

            “I’m sure.” Castiel pulled away and took off down the hall, into Dean’s room. The man was sitting on his bed, leaning against the headboard. Silently, Castiel approached the bed. “How many of the seven deadly sins can you name?”

            Dean’s brow furrowed in confusion. “All of them. Why?”

            “Name them.”

            Dean raised an eyebrow. “Sloth, gluttony, greed, envy, wrath, pride, and lust.”

            Cas smiled a bit. “Lust. That’s the one I’m looking for.” Ever so slowly, Castiel climbed onto Dean’s lap, practically straddling him. His face flushed pink.

            Dean was definitely surprised, but did not seem to mind. He pulled Cas close to him. “What are you doing?” he asked with a smile.

            Castiel didn’t answer, only slapping his lips into Dean’s. The voice in the back of his mind told him to stop before it was too late. Fuck the voice. The angel parted his lips, allowing Dean’s tongue entrance. This sensation was new to him—all he and Dean had ever done was hold hands and cuddled, with an occasional kiss on the cheek or forehead. This was much more intense. He felt fire burning within him.

            _Castiel. You are an angel of God. Stop this now_. He ignored the voice. It was not his own and he therefor did not need to listen to it. He protested by holding Dean closer.

            The hunter had to pull away for breath. “Cas, why are you so frisky all of a sudden?”

            Castiel blushed. Had Dean disliked it? “I. . . Dean, I’m tired of leaving you. I . . .” He stumbled over the words that he couldn’t speak aloud.

            “You what?” Dean asked, a hand reaching up to brush a stray hair out of the man’s face.

            It took a moment for him to must the strength to say it. “I want to fall for you, Dean.” Knowing Dean didn’t understand, he continued. “Lust will get me thrown out of heaven.”

            Dean froze, and then pulled Cas close so that the angel’s head rested on his shoulder. “If that’s really what you want, I’ll help you. But, Cas, why would you want that?”

            “I won’t have to leave you anymore.”

            Dean gave a weak smile. “If you’re sure. . .”

            “I am.” He placed a light kiss on the man’s shoulder. “I’m ready.”

            Slowly, Dean flipped their positions, hovering over Castiel’s body. He unbuttoned the man’s shirt. Cool air lapped at Cas’s skin. Dean placed a kiss on his collarbone, sending a shudder through him.

            _Castiel. Het up here. Now_. Castiel ignored the voice and reached up run his fingers through Dean’s hair. The man’s tongue ran along Castiel’s collarbone. The angel shuddered visible. Dean chuckled as he pulled away slightly.

            _Castiel. Now._ The voice was stern and he had the almost overwhelming urge to leave right then and there. “Dean,” he said a bit frantically. “I’m going to—to leave.”

            Dean silenced him with soft lips. “You’re not going anywhere.”

            Cas nodded grateful for the man who kept him grounded there. Lips brushed over the hollow of his throat and he made a noise like some kind of animal. _Castiel. If you allow this to go on, I shall send Michael with his sword. This is your final warning._ “Good,” Castiel hissed.

            “What?” Dean asked, leaning closer to the angel’s mouth.

            “More.” Dean bit down lightly on Castiel’s collarbone and the world stopped. In that moment he saw Michael and his gleaming sword. Fire shot through his body as he screamed, though he didn’t hear it over the white hot pain that tore him to pieces. He could distinguish where his limbs began, though he could feel that his back had the worst pain by far.

            His vision cleared and he saw Dean’s pained and worried expression. “Cas. Cas! Are you alright? Talk to me, Cas.”

            “Dean,” he choked out. Everything hurt, but his back was worst. He swore he could feel the flames of Hell there. Tears began to well in his eyes.

            The hunter lay down and pulled an arm around Castiel, holding him close. “Are you okay?”

            “It hurts.” That was a very large understatement, but he didn’t want to worry Dean by letting on to how much pain he was really in. It would just upset him. “My wings . . .” It explained why his back hurt the most—when the blade of Michael plunged him out of the ranks of heaven, his wings had been taken.

            “Cas, let me see your back.”

            The angel shook his head. “No. It won’t be good.”

            “I don’t care how it looks.” He placed a kiss on Castiel’s forehead. “Turn over for me.”

            Castiel obeyed hesitantly. He knew what it would look like. He had seen the scars of the fallen before. He knew that two horrible gashes would remain where his wings had once been. “Be careful,” he said weakly.

            “Of course.” After Castiel was flat on his stomach, Dean let out a little gasp poorly disguised as a sigh. “Cas. . .”

            “I—I’ll be alright.” He blinked away a few tears. Cool lips touched the scars and he let out a little hiss. At first it stung, but then it cooled, soothing him.

            “How long is the pain going to last?”

            Castiel swallowed. “It is said that the pain of the fallen is eternal.” Dean pulled away. “I’ll get used to it.” He moved at the speed of a snail, sitting up to Dean. He sat there, leaning against the headboard with his head in his hands. “D—Dean?”

            “This is my fault. I’m sorry, Castiel.”

            Cas sighed, climbing onto Dean’s lap.  He placed a finger under his chin so that Dean would look at him. “Listen to me, Dean. This is not your fault. I chose this.” He smiled, but knew it was shaky. “I’m happy.”

            Dean swallowed tightly. “I let you get hurt. I’m so sorry, Cas.”

            “It isn’t your fault. I wanted this. I still do. I always will. God wants me to regret this. But I regret nothing. I love you and now I never have to leave you.” To answer him further, he placed a kiss on Dean’s cheek.

            “You’re hurt.”

            “I’ll be okay, Dean. Just look on the bright side. Any pain that comes from this is worth it just to be with you.” He twined his fingers with Dean’s and laid back down, bringing Dean with him.

            Dean did not voice his concern, but the worry was plain and unmasked on his face.

            The silence was broken by a softly murmured, “Dean?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Will you hold me?”

            “Of course.” He wrapped his arm around Castiel, pulling him close, and being careful of the man’s back. “I love you,” he whispered against his hair.

            “I love you, too.” As Dean held him, he was able to ignore the pain. The comfort of Dean’s arms and the love of his heart outweighed the hellfire that tormented him.

            Castiel had fallen for Dean, in more ways than one. The pain could be lived with. He was happy just to be with Dean. Sure, he had fallen. But he didn’t mind. There were no regrets.


End file.
